What's more important, that what we say doesn't hurt any feelings? Or that what we say is the truth?
Often the two collide and one or the other will be said, but not both.
I'm on the worship team at my church - in fact, I am the team leader. Ultimately, it is my decision if we bring on another team member as a substitute or simply an addition to the band. (Although I do let the entire team decide mostly).
One of the aspects of being a musician is the desire for quality music, or at least that everyone play the same thing and be somewhat in tune. I seem to be the only one on the team who can tell someone that they don't sound good when that is the case. There are a few folks on the team who just want everyone who has the desire to be able to play. No matter how confused, noisy or off-key we are, to them, the music apparently doesn't matter. It's all about making everyone feel good and feel included in the team.
That just doesn't work for me. I want our music tight, clean and pretty. Therefore, I am looked at an an inconsiderate jerk when I tell someone that we have enough people on the team right now or that they need to practice up a bit before they get to play on Sunday morning.
Am I just a jerk? Or should quality matter when we are presenting our talents before the Lord?
My thinking is also that if someone really doesn't play well and no one tells them that for fear of hurting feelings, then they'll probably continue to not play well. It's also dishonest to sacrifice the truth for their feelings.
Hey Mike, may I offer an opinion, for what it's worth?
ReplyDeleteAt our church, we're interested in hearing from folks what they want to contribute to worship, to say by way of prayer, or concern, or praise. Thus, if someone has music that is meaningful to them, because we love that person and are interested in what they have to say/share, we encourage doing so.
As a result, we have people who sing who are sometimes off key. We have people who play instruments who may not get the chords right or who may hit some clunker notes, of get off rhythm or sing in a different key than they are playing in, even!
But we love it all. The reason for that is: We love the individuals who are sharing in worship. At our church, we try very hard to have a worship service where all are a part, as opposed to worship led by a team of professionals who rarely make mistakes. The mistakes are part of who we are and are part of what makes worship so meaningful.
Does that mean that it might not also be a bit painful listening to someone sing a bit off-key? Sure, a bit. But that "pain" pales in comparison to the joy and honesty of a church full of worshipers all contributing their part, even if it is only a "widow's mite..."
Which is not to say that your approach is wrong, I'm just pointing out another approach that some of us embrace. For me, I would never go back to "perfect" music, I love so much more the imperfect. It keeps us real and humble and in love with one another, flaws and all.
A side benefit of this is that our children have learned from an early age that it's great to take part in worship through prayer, through song, through music... and they do. As a result, in a church of about 80 members, we have dozens of instrumentalists, singers, prayers, etc. And, as a result of that, we end up having more and more people who can perform more perfectly, which is a blessing, too.
Just a note from another congregation...
Dan